A friend of mine has been thinking a bunch about why so many
people, who are single, don’t take the time to see the positives about not
being in a relationship. Rather, they spend so much precious time feeling down
about being single or they are envious of those around them who have a
significant other. But why is this? Why do people feel they need to be in a
relationship in order to be happy? Another question, is why do people tend to allow
themselves to get back with someone when the relationship was unhealthy the
first time around? Loneliness and depression in our lives can drive us to do
things we wouldn’t normally do. I for one have been guilty of this in my past.
We yearn for the romantic compassion from another person so badly at times that
we will get involved with just about anyone, whether there is a true attraction
or not. This is especially evident in situations where individuals go back to a
former bf/gf, knowing the relationship was bad before. I don’t generally like
to use the word hate. However, I HATE seeing someone go back to a relationship
that was filled with abuse, infidelity, and other toxic behaviors by one or
both people involved. Someone who treated you that way and did things that hurt
you, does not care about you. If they did, they wouldn’t hurt you
intentionally. Now, I understand that there are sometimes deeper issues within
a person that makes them do negative things to the ones they care about. However,
if they cannot, or will not, accept that they have a problem and will not get
help, then they are in no place to be in a committed relationship in the first
place. For those of you reading this that I know, and those of you I don’t, I
assure you I care about you more at this very moment than that person who hurt
you before ever will. Don’t put yourself in the position to be hurt again
because you’re lonely. Embrace other aspects of your environment to help you
fill that void such as good friends, supportive family, and any other positives
in your life. You will be amazed at how uplifted you will feel by allowing
these things help you deal with the emotions centered around loneliness.
As you continue to navigate through the single life and
begin dating; do not forget that you deserve someone who sincerely cares about
you. That person needs to have your best interest in mind at all times. Don’t
fall in love with the first person that comes along and makes you feel good.
Those emotions may be a result of being single for a while. Take the time to
get to know the person before you decide to be in an official relationship.
Rushing into a relationship that has no true foundation will likely not last.
This will end up being a waste of time, energy, emotions, and money for both of
you. No to mention the time it will take to get over that person. Also, I know we’re all human and have certain physical
needs. However, have a little respect for yourself. Whether you’re male or
female, don’t give up your “treats” too quickly. Don’t take someone out on a
date with the intention of getting to sleep with them because it’s been a
while. That is ridiculously rude and insensitive. On the other side, do not
accept a date with someone because you hope they’ll sleep with you and end the “drought.”
Again, have respect for yourself. Don’t get
me wrong, I understand things happen sometimes. Random hook-ups, one night
stands, “aint nothin wrong with a little bump and grind,” what happens in Vegas
stays in Vegas..I get it! And I’m guilty of it all at some point in my past.
However, be mindful of these decisions and how they can possibly complicate
your life. Sometimes you have a little fun and it ends up being just fine. But
then there may be a time when that other person reads more into the “fun” and
that’s when things start to get difficult.
With all this said, it is up to you to decide how you will
deal with being single. For some people, the single life is the preferred life.
For others, the single life couldn’t be more discouraging. Those of you who despise
being single, just remember that special person you’re meant to be with is
coming. I don’t know how, why, when, where, or any of that stuff. If I did I
would change my name to Thee Oracle and start myself arguably the first 100%
legitimate fortune telling business. Accept that it is ok to be single! Learn to
enjoy yourself a bit more. Take the time to discover qualities about yourself
that you may not otherwise have the chance to do while in a relationship. Treat
yourself to special things and don’t be afraid to spoil yourself on a daily
bases too. No one should need another person to help them feel special or
validated. If you cannot appreciate yourself then how can you expect someone else
to do so?
Here’s to the single life!
Justin
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