It’s amazing the thoughts that can come from a single picture...

Over the holidays, I was able to sit and talk with my grandfather as I usually do when home. We always talk, share stories, and have some laughs. I am constantly reminded at just how fortunate I am to have a man like him in my life. My grandfather is a quiet man but is full of life. When he speaks, you listen. A man driven by routine in that he starts his day with the news and a specific list of television shows: Matlock, In the Heat of the Night, and about three different court TV shows. The middle of the day is spent running errands, doing yard work, or fixer upper projects around the house. The evenings consist of watching Family Feud, PTI, ESPN, and usually a basketball, baseball, or football game. This is his routine day in and day out. To some, it may seem a bit boring to basically do the same thing every day. But it works for him and he’s happy. And at his age, that’s really all we can ask for.

This last trip home though, our conversations were a bit different. I gave a gift to each member of my immediate family accompanied with a note. The gift is something that was designed to strengthen our family and bring us all closer. The note brought out some emotions for a few of my family members but one in particular was my grandfather; A man that usually shows very little emotion. I walked in at the tail end of him reading the note and he was visibly moved by what he read. I sat and he was quiet for a few minutes, just staring at the note clearly trying to gather his thoughts. When he finally said something, he started by thanking me. Next, he started to give me some history on our family name as well as insight on some of my ancestors. This was all information that I never heard before and I loved it! Then he started talking about my grandmother but that was a short lived conversation. He told me a few things about her that I didn’t know and as my curious mind started firing off questions, he quickly changed the subject. I tried to guide us back but he wouldn’t let me get very far. On my last attempt, he was starting to get emotional so I backed off. My curiosity was not worth making my grandfather uncomfortable. I soon had to leave but as I walked the hallway to the front door, I saw this old picture…

Look at these two…my grandparents. Young, in love, and the future of our family in their hands. Two people that were ride or die for one another and truly lived for each other. When I saw this picture, it all made sense…

My grandfather was holding back emotions from memories that he likely hadn’t visited in a long time. My grandmother passed away in 2009 and it was devastating to everyone. But I guess I have never thought about what life is like for him since my grandmother passed. Your better half for decade after decade no longer by your side has to be so hard. The thought alone nearly brings me to tears and I have not ever experienced anything remotely close to what these two had together. This man handles it all so well though. Even when she passed, sure he shed tears but overall he stayed strong. He held his head high with poise while others could barely speak from being overcome with anguish. But not my grandfather, the one person who earned the right to be inconsolable. As I sorted through all my thoughts after seeing this picture, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of pride. A pride in my grandfather and everything he stands for: strength, loyalty, trustworthiness, caring, compassion, and chivalry. All the qualities that I do my very best to embody and exhibit every single day! And for someone like me that enjoys making others happy, it’s no secret that I learned so much of this from him. I learned all about being a man. Unfortunately, these are lesson that many men are not able to experience. However, I am grateful to have him in my life. This a man that dedicated his life to taking care of those closest to him and that’s exactly what I hope to be one day: A good man that does whatever necessary for the woman in his life. A man that provides for his family and works tirelessly to ensure they do not go without and have a quality upbringing. A man that, every day, gets up set out to be better than he was the day before.

My hope is that all men have a figure in their life that serves as a model of how to be a real man. Someone that they can look to and learn how to always say Please and never forget the Thank You. Help those in need and show care for those who need it most. Go above and beyond for your girlfriend, fiancé, or wife. With her, always be mindful of your words and actions. And she should never doubt how you feel because you will take every available opportunity to show her she is the center of your world. Sure it may come off as too much, especially if you’re just dating, so adjust your efforts according to your situation and the preference of your lady. Just never lose sight of how bad it will feel to lose the privilege of showing her how special she is to you once she’s gone whether it due to break up, divorce, or sadly if she leaves this earth before you do. Also, find a woman that appreciates your chivalry and gets excited about you. Someone that is proud to call you her own because she knows, out of all the lackluster men in the world, she is blessed enough to have one of the few good ones. Outside of your leading lady, be sure to shower your kids with love and affection but also discipline them when they get out of line. Guide them in life but also give them the autonomy to think on their own. They’ll exceed in some areas and will fall hard in others. Regardless, your love and support should never run out. Whether good or bad, be responsible for your actions. Take accountability for the things you say and do. Make time for your friends and reminisce about the good ole days. Don’t make enemies but rather find common ground with everyone regardless of how much they may piss you off. Protect and preserve your house at all costs. Always be willing to sacrifice your well-being to keep the people you care about safe. Be led by your faith and expect the same of those in your household. And at the end of the day, be the type of man that the generations after you can be proud of.  

Here’s to my grandfather and to the remaining few good men in the world.

-JPay

And then there was Lubbock, Texas…

Often I get asked about my career to this point. Inevitably, when I tell people that I spent four years in Lubbock, Texas they respond with a “oh boy, that sucks” or “I bet being in that town was terrible.” My personal favorite is “Lubbock? That’s a place?”…The reactions are pretty comical to me. Honestly, it has taken me some time to truly appreciate Texas and Lubbock as it deserves. I was one of those people that would scoff at the thought of Lubbock and having to live there. But as time went on I realized all that Lubbock had done for me. That is what todays post is about. Reflecting on my time in the one place I would have never expected to grow as much as I did.

Now, it would be easy to rant about all the bad times I had or focus on Lubbock’s short comings but that’s not what I want to do. There was so much good about my time in Lubbock that I want to focus on those memories. And where better to start than with my job. With this being my first professional “big boy” job, I was so excited when I go hired. Side note, I received and accepted the job offer on my 24^th birthday. My family and I proceeded to go celebrate with some Korean BBQ and a few (ok more than a few) libations! I started work on October 1, 2009 and I never looked backed. Coming in, I was charged with taking the Life Skills program to new heights. My boss was fantastic and gave me the freedom to do as I wanted (within reason) to ensure we had a comprehensive program for our student-athletes. In my four years we did exactly that! We truly a built a program to be proud of and one that we loved showing off. Within our office, I enjoyed most of the coworkers I had over my time there (“most” being the word of focus here). We had a lot of laughs and a saw of lot of change together. From press box on Friday’s, to our entertaining staff meetings, food days, many of our ridiculous conversation topics, and of course Justin (yeah this guy) always referring to himself as THEE Director of Student-Athlete Affairs to our guests and recruits…good times all around! But don’t get it wrong; just like any close knit group we had our issues and disagreements. There were plenty of days I left wanting to curse one of them out. But we always got through those times and for that I am thankful. We could have all been in a far worse work environment, and some of the staff had before, so we should all be grateful. And then there were my other athletic department coworkers. Some I knew better than others. Our administrators and coaches all had their unique personalities. A few of the coaches and I did WORK when it came to recruiting. We really had a good flow. And for the coaches and administrators that I spent time with outside of work, haha well, all I need to say is thank you for the memories. To those individuals I am referring to, please take a minute to think of your favorite moments in time with JPay! We had an amazing group of student-athletes too. Overall they really were a great bunch of young adults that cared for one another. They made my job pretty easy when it came to certain aspects of our programming. I loved seeing them grow and mature throughout their time. My first freshman class of student-athlete from when I started either graduated this past spring or they’re finishing up now. They have grown so much and I am sincerely sad I am not there to see you cross that finish line at graduation. Just know I am so proud of you. And was everything fun and fantastic about my time at Texas Tech? No. But as I look back on things, it really was a solid four years with some amazing people and for that I thank you all.

And then there was Capstone Crossfit. Probably some of the best people I have been around to date. My Crossfit family will ALWAYS have a special place in my life. Once I got cleared from my back surgery, one of my coworkers and now great friends, Hilary Sanders, and I went down to Capstone for our introductory lessons. There to greet us was this tatted white dude with a backwards hat blasting hip hop and talking like he was down. So naturally I was hesitant to like him at first. Where I come from guys like this are usually posers trying to be cool. But little did I know that this guy, Russell Butler, would become one of my closest friends in Lubbock and in life for that matter. I still remember Thursday’s being max days and him always making me lift by myself because my strength was coming back much quicker than ever anticipated and there was no one on my level. Yeah, I was kind of a big deal…kidding. I guess in reality I was like the smelly kid that played alone on the playground. Over time I would come to make friends with so many people at Capstone. The Brandiger’s and Osborne’s, our gym owners, are nothing short of extraordinary. They are the ones that had the faith in me to be their Crossfit Football coach and allowed me to get my certification as well as run my own class. Talk about fun times! No one will ever forget “This Is Gonna Suck” Saturday workouts or the crowd favorite post workout Tummy Tummy Time (in my devious voice). I also can’t fail to recognize all my fellow coaches: Russell (who I already mentioned), Steven, Geoff, Ally, Garrett, Niraj, Jordan, John, Christina, Jason, Andy, and newly added Kasey. Now what I need those reading this to understand is that we went as hard outside the gym as we did during workouts. Does anyone remember Spring and Summer of 2012? From all the nights out at The Office or The Roof or even, dare I say it, Chances R! And then there was the infamous LA Trip that is only to be discussed within the group…Ha! And we can’t forget the 2012 Cinco de Mayo party! Jake, Nathan, and Britt will laugh when I say “I don’t know what happened, I was just sitting there…..” Let’s also not fail to mention last year’s 27^th birthday party, the 13.6 party from this spring, or the Going Away party in September…If you missed out, I really do feel bad for you. Overall, to my boys, I can’t thank yall enough for everything. To my homegirls, yall know who you are, thank you for always being there for me and for all the good times.

And then there was Experience Life, the church that changed me forever. Prior to my time at E-Life I was a person who relied solely on his good deeds and “being a good person” as his rationale for not needing to attend church regularly or form a true relationship with Christ. In my eyes, I was just fine and would get through the pearly gates because I was a nice person. But I now know how wrong I was. And honestly, had it not been for Loren and Jeff Richardson, I may have never joined E-Life. Loren worked in my office and every week for months asked me to attend church with her and Jeff. Week after week I turned down the invite. But their last week in town before moving away I agreed to come along. Little did I know there would be no turning back. Pastor Chris and his staff pulled me in from my first visit and from that point, week after week, I had to be there. The energy and spirit in that church was addicting and I had to have more. Soon I made the decision to commit my life to Christ and was honored to have this done at E-Life. That still is one of the greatest days of my life. I get emotional thinking about it to this day. Every day I thank the Lord for leading me to him because I was so lost before. There were plenty of dark days in my past. Honestly, there were a few times when I probably should have lost my freedoms or possibly my life. But even not knowing him, he delivered me from my self-inflicted pain and destruction. After committing my life to him, I still have days where I want to give up when life doesn’t go in my favor, but I am able to keep moving forward. Through prayers, faith, and an understanding that I will never be dealt a situation that I cannot handle, I am able to continuously get up despite circumstances that knock me down. The extreme anxiety I once battled on a daily bases...well let’s just say it is not even a fair fight anymore. I rarely get rattled and hardly have anxiety attacks anymore. And when I do, I kid you not, I laugh them off. I am in such a better place in my life and I sometimes struggle to truly articulate how I feel about it all. There is not day that goes by when I am not in constant prayer and thanksgiving for my spiritual walk. So to the Richardson’s, E-Life, and all those that helped keep me in line with my faith…Thank You!

Listen, we all know Lubbock, TX is not this booming city that is at the forefront of everyone’s mind. But Lubbock is filled with great people and tons of magnificent opportunities for those that take the time to look for them. I would have never expected to meet some of my closest friends while in Lubbock. Nor did I ever think that my spiritual walk would begin in Lubbock either. But it did. And I could not be more grateful. The memories I have from my time there will last forever. Everyone I came in contact with will forever be part of my heart and we will always be connected. Life long bonds have been formed and whether yall like it or not, you are all stuck with me…accept it now! So from the bottom of my heart, to every person I came in contact with and the memories we created…Thank You.

Here’s to you Lubbock.

JPay