Random Romantic Tip: Another Justin Edition

I wasn’t going to write this Random Romantic Tip until later this week. But I am having a great day and I am in the mood to write, so here it goes. Just as I mentioned in my last RRT, in addition to giving step by step romantic idea, I am going to also share some of the romantic stories from my own past. With that said, this particular story comes from a relationship I had in college. 

At the time of this story taking place, the girl and I were about to celebrate our 2 year anniversary. It was during the end of the Fall semester and my football season has just ended and her sport season had not quite begun yet. Therefore, aside from preparing for finals, we had more time than usual to spend with one another. I knew I wanted to do something special for her; partially because that just what I do, but also because she needed something good to help get her through finals. She wasn’t a great test taker so big tests like finals always caused her stress and anxiety. After some serious thought, I had come up with a great plan.

That morning I woke her up about a hour before the sun was due to rise. Yes, I actually checked the exact time of the suns rising..don’t judge me! She had no idea what was going on so I assured her nothing was wrong and that we were going to take a little drive. Before we hit the freeway, I stopped at 7-11 and got her some coffee and a donut. I also had one her favorite blankets in the car so she could be warm and comfortable. We had about a 35min drive, so I told her to sleep and I would wake her when we arrived. It was dark out and the road there is curvy but we arrived in Santa Cruz without any issues. As we pulled up the sun was just starting to come out. It was perfect timing! There is a little mom & pop restaurant that sits right on the corner across from the Santa Cruz Boardwalk and the beach. We were their first customers. I had called early that week and told them we were coming so they wouldn’t be alarmed when we walked in wearing our pajamas. They are cool folks and were happy to help me. We ate breakfast and then walked over to the beach. Now, during this particular time of year there are a bunch of seals (or sea lions, I don’t know the difference) and otters in the waters of the central California coast. So as we sat on the beach cuddled up in the big warm blanket we got to see tons of wildlife. Some in the water and some on the sand. At times there were seals no more than 20 yards away from us. Plus we were the only ones out there at the time, it was perfect. Well after about a hour on the beach we decided to head back to San Jose and start our day. She had no clue that I had more stuff planned. We got back to town and she had to go to a team meeting and take care of some other stuff. Oh and before she left my house, we had a quick “anatomy” quiz. Both of us passed with flying colors, haha. Oh and for the record, this “quiz” was only quick because of time constraints. Our “tests” were always much longer and I am always sure to be (cough) very thorough (couch)…

ANYWAYS, she went on to do her thing and I made sure all was right for the rest of the night. I told her to be dressed and ready by 7pm. Now our reservations weren’t until 8:30 but I knew, just as most women I’ve dealt with, she wasn’t going to be ready by 7pm. As I guessed, we didn’t leave her house until nearly 8pm. But it was fine because my lady was looking very beautiful. I surprised her with dinner at a delicious Hibachi restaurant. She wasn’t a fan of trying new things but given the occasion she was happy to give it a try. We had a great meal, shared some laughs, and really enjoyed being with one another. After dinner, I took her to San Jose’s popular downtown Christmas in the Park. The weather was in the high 60’s and the sky was clear (if I remember correctly). We walked up and down the park looking at all the decorated Christmas trees. It’s amazing how creative some of the children and organizations get with their Christmas tree designs. There was also some live music being played that night so we sat and listened to that for a bit. Now, while we were listening to the music, my nose caught the scent of something with cinnamon and sugar. And like a true husky kid (or maybe a blood hound) I had to track down what smelled so amazingly amazing. I told her don’t move, I would be right back. The hunt was on. After some diligent analysis of the smell and wind patterns, I tracked down a glorious sight…a CHURRO stand!! Christmas had come early my friends! I will admit I was still pretty full from dinner. But if you know me, you know my motto when it comes to dessert/sweets…there’s always room! So I gladly bought four churros, two for the both of us. Now I knew she was only going to eat one but I couldn’t buy three for myself. That's not a good look. But if she can’t eat her second churro, which I knew she couldn’t, she’s was surely going to offer it to me because she knows I loves me a churro. And sure enough, all went as planned. However, after I took my last bite. She asked how it was and I told her it was scrumptious!  Then she promptly told me she knew I bought four on purpose knowing she was only going to eat one haha...my girl! We had a good laugh about it and she also helped me clean off all the cinnamon and sugar from my jacket. I can get a little messy when I eat excitedly. We walked around the park a little more holding hands and truly enjoying one another’s presence. At times, we would just stop and look at all the people; I held her close from behind and would give her small kisses on her neck. From time to time, I would whisper in her ear and tell her how beautiful she was and that I was so lucky to have her in my life. As the night went on, we kept taking in the energy of our surroundings, together. I’m not sure what it is like now, but Christmas in the Park definitely used to have a romantic vibe. This night is and will always be one of my favorite memories. We had such a great day. I had never felt so strongly for that girl than I did that day. And in case you’re wondering, our “anatomy” test that night went very well, as always.  ;-) 

After writing this story, I started to think about the fact that I get asked quite often why or how I am still single. It has happened quite often lately. I’m guessing it’s because people think I am good guy and should be in a relationship. Maybe they think I am a good guy and possibly somewhat attractive too? I am honestly not really sure. But just as I tell all of them, I don’t know why I am single. Hell, if I knew I would likely do something about it! No but seriously, I really don’t know nor do I like to let myself worry about that too much. Yall all know I am a hopeless romantic, so of course I would love to be with someone that I can care for and be happy with every day. However, that’s just not the case right now. Who knows, maybe tomorrow I will meet someone. Maybe I met someone this past week or in the past month that will come back around. I don’t know. And sure there are girls from my past that I would love to be with right now. In fact, I am confident that with at least one of them, we would truly be happy for a long time. But unfortunately it’s not that way, at least not right now. And that is ok. I will never beg someone to be with me. The girl will never have any doubts what I can bring to the table in regards to being a boyfriend. I always go above and beyond. So again, why am I single? Who knows. But when the time comes I am sure we can all agree it will be an absolutely beautiful relationship and the two of us will be very blessed to have one another. It is for this reason I gladly wait patiently for that day. 

Be sure to tell your special someone how much you care about them and how appreciative you are that they’re in your life. 

Here’s to romance and happiness!

Justin

The only thing that matters is the next play...

Sundays..oh Sundays; A day for lounging, laziness, and pure relaxation. This past Sunday was especially relaxing. I had a great Saturday night and I actually, for once, had a great night of sleep. I woke up and tuned into E-Life’s live online feed and then got caught up on my DVR recordings. By noon on Sunday I sprawled out on my couch and couldn’t have been more comfortable. 

Unfortunately, this state of relaxation was short lived. At 1pm on Sunday I got a call from a friend I have not seen or spoken to in a long time. I was pretty shocked that he called actually. It’s probably been nearly 5 years since we last spoke. I really couldn’t remember why it had been so long. Initially nothing came to mind as to why our friendship faded. Anyways, I was mildly excited to talk with him. We’re guys so getting caught on life was quick and to the point. He is not married, has a girlfriend, no kids, has a job, still likes to party, and had some updates on a few of our old friends. It probably took us roughly 4 minutes to get fully caught up…Ladies, it’s a man thing. 

Well as we kept talking, he was complaining more and more about random things. He’s my boy so at first I was chiming in with negative remarks to help fuel his rants. But soon I realized that the good mood I had before the call was gone. I felt irritable, angry, annoyed, etc…It was weird though, I was still lounging on my couch and everything around me was the same. The only thing that changed was the phone call. He went on and on with one complaint after another. Eventually, I had to rush him off the phone because my boy had me so hyped that I was ready to fight someone.  I was actually pacing..in my own home! After I calmed myself down, I couldn’t help but sit there and rack my brain as to why I went from so calm to so angry it that little bit of time. Finally, I realized it had to be one thing. Many of you are probably thinking it was his negativity that changed my mood. But it wasn’t him. Rather, I was to blame. I and I alone have control of my moods. So at some point during our conversation I was responsible for allowing him to affect my mood. 

This interaction with my “friend” inspired my thoughts for today’s blog post. It made me think about something my college coaches used to teach us. It was ingrained into our minds that regardless what happened during a game, the only thing that mattered was the next play. If you threw an interception, missed a block, or fumbled the ball..forget about it. The only thing that mattered was the next play. Since my playing days, I have done my best to incorporate this philosophy into my everyday life. We all know life can be rough, to say the least. For many of us, we feel as if once things start to go well another incident occurs that’s knocks us back a couple steps. You know what? Its ok! What matters most is what happens next…meaning, how will you respond? Are you going to let that incident or situation negatively affect your mood? Or will you rally your spirits and your mind to battle that adversity? Don’t let yourself be defeated. Be strong! Pick yourself up and keep moving forward. Just think, what’s done is done. You being upset or feeling defeated will not change the past. So why toil with that negativity? 

Don’t get me wrong, this is a lot easier said than done. There are times when you’ll be hit with life’s fury and the blow couldn’t be any more severe. Personally, I have had this happen to me more times than I would like in my short 26 years. However, believe me when I say, each time I accepted what has happened and made myself respond by continuing to move forward…the weight of that situation seems to get a bit lighter. So when I say the only thing that matters is how you respond, I am not just speaking from my time on the field, but also from real life experiences. 

Listen, I am not saying you shouldn’t hurt when those emotions are warranted. And I am not saying you should never feel angry or overwhelmed. What I am saying though is those feelings should be short lived. Regardless of what has went down…shake it off, get back to the “huddle,” and prepare yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically for the next “play.”

Here’s to taking life’s punches, always getting back up, and continuing to move forward.

Justin

Oh the weight room...

 

Oh the weight room…The place where I can be at pure peace. Everyone knows I live to lift weights. In fact, my family loves to lift and train. Without fail, when Spencer and I come home (Los Angeles) to visit, our days will start off in the weight room and/or on the field. Also, if you didn’t know, our high school recently named their weight room after our family. Honestly, given our history with the school, there are multiple facilities at the school where the Paysinger name could have been placed. But the weight room is the perfect place. Disclaimer: this was rare incident where I brag about myself; don’t get used to it though.

 From the moment I step in the gym all the stress form the day seems to fade away. Hour after hour of putting in work, I relish in the sweat and pain. Every minute that passes I know I am getting that much stronger mentally, physically, and emotionally. However, there are times when things don’t go as planned when I am in the zone. Therefore, this post will highlight a couple of the interesting things that I have seen and done in the while in the weight room. 

The first incident happened this past weekend while I was working out with our Crossfit team. We were doing Hang Snatches and I was tweaking my form a bit so I could transition the bar overhead more efficiently. Well I was on the first rep of my third set and I was determined to get my form right. I dipped with the bar, started my pull, and as I was getting the bar overhead..BAM!!  I hit myself in the forehead with the full speed and power of the 155 pounds of barbell. Now, before you make fun of your boy, you should know that I did complete the rep and all the reps after that one…Ok, now you may laugh at me. Also, I think it is worth saying that this has happened before. Fortunately, playing football has heightened my tolerance for shots to the head. However, I don’t care who you are, it’s going to hurt when you hit yourself in the head at a high speed with that much weight. After it happened I was fine. That next morning was a different story. I’m pretty sure I may have been concussed. My head was killing me and my forehead was extra tender to the touch. Not to mention my vision was a little blurred. But in true meat head fashion, I powered through.

Another time, in high school, I was in the weight room with my boys putting in some good off-season work. On this particular day the weights were feeling heavier than usual which, as most gym rats know, is perfectly normal. I finished up bench press and was starting incline press. My reps were 10-8-6-4-2. The 10 set was generally the warm up. You were expected to get the 8 set and the 6 set. The 4 and 2  sets were supposed to be the most challenging. You had a 50/50 chance of getting all of the 4 set but you were likely going to fail your 2 set. Well, as I mentioned earlier, I was not feeling the weights this day. I knocked out my sets of 8 and 10. I only got 2 reps on my 6 set though! Generally, when this happens its best to walk away from that lift, go knock out some auxiliary lifts and core work, leave the weight room, and come back the next day to get after it again. As I started to transition to doing some tricep work the volleyball team came in for a post-practice lift. This is relevant because I had a HUGE crush on one of the girls on the team. Everyone knew I liked her so it was no secret. But when you’re in high school and that girl you like is around, you have to show off just a bit. So foolishly I decided to continue with my incline press work. I told my boy to give me one hell of spot because there was no way I was going to get any part of my 4 set but we could at least make it look like I was doing something impressive. Well leave it to my boys to totally try and screw me over. As I am lying there on the bench ready to lift, my boy spotting me tells me to hold on and he asks ole girl to come over so she can spot me. He looks at me and winks and then helps her up on the spotting stand. Of course at this point everyone is watching. I mean normally this would be no problem. I’m Justin Paysinger! I always get my reps…sometimes.  Haha not this day though. So she’s looking at me and ask if I am ready. At this point, I am beyond nervous because I know that there is no way I will be able to get this weight off my chest today and I was lifting nearly three times her body weight, so she was going to be of no help. Plus my boys were just itching to see all this go down. They couldn’t wait to see me embarrass myself in front of this girl. Gotta love em right?! I am at the point of no return now. This is happening and it’s not going to be pretty. She smiles and counts me down from 3..Three, Two, One..The bar is off the rack and I am looking straight up at it pleading to myself to find some sort of strength somewhere. Take it from my legs for all I care, it’s an upper body day anyway! I hold the bar for a one count and then proceed with the lift. Surprisingly I get the first rep. I was relieved for a second but quickly remembered that I had three more reps to go. The second rep goes up relatively smooth. I’m mildly in shock because there is no way I should have got the first rep let alone the second. She is cheering me on and so are her teammates. My boys however, are laughing and all I hear is “good luck with the next two J!” As I am holding the bar, I look at the weight and then look at her and with a big smile, she says “come on Justin, you go it.” Well that’s all I needed. Sure, I had nothing left in the tank for these next reps but my boo-thang was rooting me on so I couldn’t let her down right?! You damn right I couldn’t! I knocked out those last two reps with some struggle but I got them up. My boys were speechless and she was impressed, which is all that mattered at that moment. Of course she had no clue that I shouldn’t have gotten those reps. All in all, I finished the set, scored some points with the girl, and despite a slow start, I had a good day in the gym after all. 

I have plenty of other gym stories that I could share. Like the time my brother Spencer busted out all his front teeth when he missed the rack and the barbell smashed into his face. Or the time when one of my fellow O-linemen hadn’t lifted for nearly four months but decided to do max back squat with 400+ pounds on the bar. Yeah, he took the bar off the rack and fell faster than elevator shaft. There was also the time when a girl in my Crossfit class was flipping tires and she lost her grip and went flying head first into the opening of the tire. Haha I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. Don’t worry, I checked to make sure she was ok first. I’ve spent hours in the gym and have tons of stories. One thing remains though, the gym is my sanctuary. There are times of good laughs and memories as you can see. But there is also days when you can’t help but be defeated by the weights. You just have to shake it off and be determined to win the man vs. weights battle the next day. 

Here’s to all the people in the world who live to be in the gym!

Justin

Ps- if you don’t know what boo-thang is: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=boo%20thang

Random Romantic Tip: Special Justin Edition

This week’s Random Romantic Tip will be little different. Instead of giving a step by step romantic tip, a friend of mine suggested that I share something romantic that I have done in my past. I am usually very hard on myself when it comes to doing romantic things for a girl because I want to make sure it is special. Big or small, the idea has to be legit. My friends probably get irritated with me because I run the idea by them over and over again to make sure it is good. Regardless, the end result usually turns out very well. 

One of my favorite past romantic ideas was a couple years back. The girl and I had been friends for a very long time. A few years into our friendship, we realized that there were deeper feelings on both sides. We often went back and forth with the idea of being more than friends but things just never seemed to pan out. Well not long after I moved to Texas those old feelings presented themselves once again. After this realization of feelings, we talked and it seemed as if things were mutual. At that point, I was convinced we would have a lot of very special memories from that point forward. I had cared about this girl so much for so long and would have gone to great lengths to make her happy. The only catch was that she was still in California and I was here in little ole Lubbock. However, for me, it didn’t matter. She could have been across the globe and I would do everything possible to make it work. Well Valentine’s Day was fast approaching and I had to do something extra special especially since I would not have the chance to see her. I had many different ideas swirling around in my head but I none of them were good enough to me. Too bad Pinterest wasn’t around back then. Anyways, after weeks of ideas and research I settled on a simple and thoughtful yet pretty damn awesome idea (even if I do say so myself). There were two different gifts. The first gift was something I had always wanted to do for someone but just never did. I ordered a small gift package of personalized M&M’s. I was sure to order the M&M’s in her favorite colors. Also, printed on each individual M&M was a small inside saying she and I shared. I’m certain some of yall want to know what it is but I’m not telling! The second gift was my favorite. I bought it from a website called BoldLoft. This company specializes in sweet and romantic gifts. The gift I bought was a set of pillow cases. The pillow cases were white and on one there was a guy leaning over the side of the pillow. All you see is his torso and everything below that part of the body. On the other pillow, there is girl lying in bed with rosy cheeks and a big smile. Also on that pillow is the head and chest of the guy from the other pillow leaning in giving her a kiss. The idea was for me to keep the pillow case with just the guy’s body and she has the other pillow case with the girl and the guy giving her a kiss. With her pillow case, I wrote a note saying something like, “even though we are 2000 miles apart, when you lie down to sleep, these pillow cases are my way of always being able to give you a kiss goodnight.” She was working a job at the time that required her to work long hours and stay in a hotel where the job site was located. Therefore, I sent the gift to the hotel concierge and made sure it was there waiting for her when she came back to the hotel on Valentine’s Day night. Of course with the gifts I included a nice card. I don’t remember what I wrote. However, as I think back to that time, I can think of what I would have probably said to her. The card likely would have said:

                “I wish I was able to articulate how I feel about you, but I wouldn’t be able to do my feelings justice. We have had a great friendship that has blossomed into much more. To me, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on. Everyday I want to wake up and tell you that you’re gorgeous. Everyday I want to give you a kiss and make the stress of the day fade away. Everyday I want to see you walk into a room and know that of all of the other guys around, you chose me. Everyday I want to see your breathtaking eyes and cherish your amazing smile. Everyday, every single day, I want do whatever it takes to make you feel like the most special girl in the entire world. I look at you and have no doubts that you and I will have a lifelong connection that can never be broken. Regardless of what happens between us, whether we’re together or not, you are and always will be my girl.”

Unfortunately my heart and my emotions as well as my desire to be with her did not match up with reality. She liked the gift but, just as in the past, did not want to commit to being anything more than friends. Although it seemed as if this time around things were different and we would be together, it didn’t turn out that way. And I was hurt for a long while but it is ok! Given the girl, she was worth the hurt. And I know many of my close friends don’t agree because they saw how much heartache I endured. But they will never understand the connection she and I shared. 

Most people, who know me, know that I like to go above and beyond for the girls I like. Once I decide that I have real feelings for someone, I will do something every day to put a smile on her face.  Some of my friends think it is excessive whereas I wish I could do more. When I like a girl, she will know it. I don’t like playing games or beating around the bush. When I am interested past just a friendship level, the girl will know. On the other hand, I like when a girl comes out and tells me she interested in me. Just makes things easier, especially if we both like one another. We can get past all the fluff of guessing and get straight to enjoying being with one another. 

All of you reading this, I challenge you to do just a little bit more everyday to make your partner feel special. Doesn’t have to be anything extravagant but make sure it’s thoughtful. Find little things about one another that make you light up, no matter what your mood may be at the time. Relationships are amazing when you and your significant other sincerely relish in the time you spend together. Don’t let negativity and small issues cause a rift in your relationships. Always remember the good times even when the darkness is overshadowing your happiness. Just ask yourself, if you lost that person tomorrow, would you be devastated? If no, then you don’t need to be with them. If yes, then spend everyday, every single day, making them feel like the most special person in the entire world.

To the next girl that wins Justin’s heart, whoever you are and wherever you are, I can’t wait to be with you!

Justin