Someone once told me that if you’re not getting better, you’re
getting worse. This was likely from a coach during my playing days but I have transferred
this message over to my everyday life. There is not a day that goes by where I do
not actively go out of my way to get better in some form or fashion. However,
just like most people, I have my day to day struggles that inhibit my overall
personal and professional growth. It is this idea of life struggles that
sparked the idea for the premise of this blog post. Just as in previous post, I
am going to be completely honest with all of you in an effort to continue to
let go of the darkness from my past.
As I mentioned in a previous blog, I had a career ending
back injury during my senior season of football in college. In the year leading
up to that point, I had two back surgeries and multiple epidurals. Each surgery
was roughly two hours long. After this injury, I had to undergo a more serious
surgery to repair my back. The surgery was nearly 9 hours long in which my
surgeons fused my lower spine from L3 and down. The first 4 hours consisted of
them going through my stomach to take out my disc and replace them with what’s called
spacers. They sewed me up and then flipped me over and entered metal cages and
screws through incisions in my lower. This part lasted about another 4-5 hours.
So I have one scar across my stomach that looks like a smiley face (its kind of
weird) and three vertical scars on my lower back. I had to be on bed rest for
about 5 weeks after surgery. After that time period, it would be another year
before I would be able to do any sort of strenuous physical activity that I had
come accustomed to throughout my time as an athlete. Imagine going from
training as a D1 collegiate football player to not even being able to stand for
longer than 15mins without being in pain. After about 6 months I started doing
some physical rehab in the pool and light core work. However, it just was not
the same and it was hard to deal with, emotionally. Needless to say, the
transition out of being a competitive athlete was a definite struggle
especially given the fact that I was unable to train. So while others found hobbies
such as intramural, recreational, and club sports to fill their void, I was
stuck walking with a cane and using tools to help put on my clothes. I don’t
tell you that for your pity but rather to put things in perspective.
Once I did my time and got clearance to work out again, it
was hard finding the motivation to train again. The extent of my working out,
at the time, consisted of walking on a treadmill while watching bad television
or ESPN. I had become the stereotypical “Globo” gym goer that walked day after
day on the treadmill without any sort of measurable gains in fitness. I made
friends at the gym and we would talk while walking and share stories from our
lives. The staff knew me by name because I came in at the same time every day.
I was a regular and, admittedly, I started to like that normal lifestyle. It
was not until one day that I was walking to my treadmill, getting my mind right
for the workout ahead, when I saw this lady on her cell phone and cutting her
fingernails while on her treadmill. I stopped in my tracks and it hit me that I
had become yet another gym statistic just wasting time and energy. I was not
much better than this disgusting woman actually cutting her finger nails on the
treadmill and letting them fall on to the belt and then onto the floor. I
promptly turned around, got my stuff out of my locker, and walked out the front
doors never to return again.
After this revelation, I felt I needed to rediscover myself
as an athlete and a competitor. At first I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.
My back felt better but I still was not able to do anything too active. It was
about this time when I remembered my strength coaches from college getting involved
with Crossfit. Some of our teams had started doing it and a few of my teammates
were actively Crossfitting as well. I remembered them all mentioning they loved
the competitiveness and community that Crossfit provided. They said it was close
to the feeling of being on a team again. With this in mind, I decided to look
up Crossfit gyms here in Lubbock. After typing in “Crossfit Lubbock” in my Google
search, the first result was a link to Capstone Crossfit. I did not know that
by clicking on that link that my life would be changed forever.
I started at Capstone Crossfit on May 17, 2010. Since that
day, the people at Capstone Crossfit have done more for me that they will ever
know. Anyone that knows me can attest to the fact that achieving success in all
that I do is my driving force. There is nothing average about my life. Everything
I do is done in a respectable and noteworthy manner. However, the year after my
surgery I had drifted so far away from this lifestyle. I was average and nothing
more. But Crossfit helped me find myself again. I loved getting absolutely
destroyed during workouts. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before.
My athletic past was a non-factor at first. I couldn’t muscle my way through these
workouts like I could in a game going up against a big d-lineman. Realizing
that despite my 10+ years of football, I was on the low end of the Crossfit totem
pole. This forced me to train harder and harder like I once did. I also had to
force myself to re-establish my mental toughness. I had become weak mentally
but Crossfit made me retrain my mind. All the true competitors reading this right
now know that your mind will keep you going even when your body feels as if it
has no more to give. Crossfit pulled me up from my darkness and brought me back
to life. I had to change my entire physical and mental approach if I was to
ever be somewhat respectable at Crossfit.
Things get much deeper than that though. Crossfit changed me
in other ways as well. The people at Capstone come from all different walks of
life. They all have a story, some good and some bad. But they all respect one
another. As a member of the sporting world you often get stuck in the sports
bubble. By that I mean you have a hard time relating to anyone who is not involved
with sports. Crossfit is filled with people who never played sports competitively.
They are the type of people that would come to see others like me play. We
appreciated their support but we rarely associated with them. There is almost
an arrogance that comes with being an athlete. You feel as if you’re above
others in certain ways. I am guilty of this too. In fact, most are even if they
won’t admit it to themselves. However, Crossfit continues to humble me in this
regard. It makes you appreciate everyone for their abilities and skills. On a
given day the person who finished in last the day before can blow the workout out
of the water and beat everyone. You learn to respect everyone despite your preconceived
notions of their abilities. Also, Crossfit people are just good people all
around (for the most part). On a good day, the Crossfit gym will make you feel
even better. On the other side, bad days seem to just fade away once you walk
into the gym and see all your fellow Crossfitters ready to put in some work.
The sense of family and community is real. The people there sincerely care
about you. You become great friends and relevant in each others lives outside
of the gym. Crossfit gives you a confidence that is hard to find in other recreational
sporting realms. Insecurities that once plagued your life start to fade away
slowly but surely. You become proud of everything in your life. You learn to
accept yourself just the way you are.
The workouts, the people, the community, and the family that
Crossfit has to offer is destined to make an impact in anyone’s life. So to all
those apart of my Capstone Crossfit family and to all Crossfitters around the
world, thank you. You helped this once lost soul, stricken with one hardship
after another, to rediscover himself and establish an unwavering resiliency that
will never be broken again.
Here’s to finding that “thing” which helps you to keep
moving forward even when you can’t see what lies ahead.
Justin
