Over the holidays, I was able to sit and talk with my grandfather
as I usually do when home. We always talk, share stories, and have some laughs.
I am constantly reminded at just how fortunate I am to have a man like him in
my life. My grandfather is a quiet man but is full of life. When he speaks, you
listen. A man driven by routine in that he starts his day with the news and a
specific list of television shows: Matlock, In the Heat of the Night, and about
three different court TV shows. The middle of the day is spent running errands,
doing yard work, or fixer upper projects around the house. The evenings consist
of watching Family Feud, PTI, ESPN, and usually a basketball, baseball, or football
game. This is his routine day in and day out. To some, it may seem a bit boring
to basically do the same thing every day. But it works for him and he’s happy. And
at his age, that’s really all we can ask for.
This last trip home though, our conversations were a bit
different. I gave a gift to each member of my immediate family accompanied with
a note. The gift is something that was designed to strengthen our family and bring
us all closer. The note brought out some emotions for a few of my family
members but one in particular was my grandfather; A man that usually shows very
little emotion. I walked in at the tail end of him reading the note and he was
visibly moved by what he read. I sat and he was quiet for a few minutes, just
staring at the note clearly trying to gather his thoughts. When he finally said
something, he started by thanking me. Next, he started to give me some history
on our family name as well as insight on some of my ancestors. This was all information
that I never heard before and I loved it! Then he started talking about my
grandmother but that was a short lived conversation. He told me a few things
about her that I didn’t know and as my curious mind started firing off
questions, he quickly changed the subject. I tried to guide us back but he wouldn’t
let me get very far. On my last attempt, he was starting to get emotional so I backed
off. My curiosity was not worth making my grandfather uncomfortable. I soon had
to leave but as I walked the hallway to the front door, I saw this old picture…
Look at these two…my grandparents. Young, in love, and the
future of our family in their hands. Two people that were ride or die for one
another and truly lived for each other. When I saw this picture, it all made
sense…
My grandfather was holding back emotions from memories that he
likely hadn’t visited in a long time. My grandmother passed away in 2009 and it
was devastating to everyone. But I guess I have never thought about what life
is like for him since my grandmother passed. Your better half for decade after
decade no longer by your side has to be so hard. The thought alone nearly brings
me to tears and I have not ever experienced anything remotely close to what
these two had together. This man handles it all so well though. Even when she
passed, sure he shed tears but overall he stayed strong. He held his head high
with poise while others could barely speak from being overcome with anguish. But
not my grandfather, the one person who earned the right to be inconsolable. As I
sorted through all my thoughts after seeing this picture, I was overwhelmed
with a feeling of pride. A pride in my grandfather and everything he stands
for: strength, loyalty, trustworthiness, caring, compassion, and chivalry.
All the qualities that I do my very best to embody and exhibit every single day!
And for someone like me that enjoys making others happy, it’s no secret that I
learned so much of this from him. I learned all about being a man. Unfortunately,
these are lesson that many men are not able to experience. However, I am grateful
to have him in my life. This a man that dedicated his life to taking care of
those closest to him and that’s exactly what I hope to be one day: A
good man that does whatever necessary for the woman in his life. A man that
provides for his family and works tirelessly to ensure they do not go without
and have a quality upbringing. A man that, every day, gets up set out to be
better than he was the day before.
My hope is that all men have a figure in their life that serves as a model of how to be a real man. Someone that they can look to
and learn how to always say Please and never forget the Thank You. Help those
in need and show care for those who need it most. Go above and beyond for your
girlfriend, fiancé, or wife. With her, always be mindful of your words and actions.
And she should never doubt how you feel because you will take every available
opportunity to show her she is the center of your world. Sure it may come off
as too much, especially if you’re just dating, so adjust your efforts according
to your situation and the preference of your lady. Just never lose sight of how
bad it will feel to lose the privilege of showing her how special she is to you
once she’s gone whether it due to break up, divorce, or sadly if she leaves
this earth before you do. Also, find a woman that appreciates your chivalry and
gets excited about you. Someone that is proud to call you her own because she
knows, out of all the lackluster men in the world, she is blessed enough to
have one of the few good ones. Outside of your leading lady, be sure to shower
your kids with love and affection but also discipline them when they get out of
line. Guide them in life but also give them the autonomy to think on their own.
They’ll exceed in some areas and will fall hard in others. Regardless, your
love and support should never run out. Whether good or bad, be responsible for
your actions. Take accountability for the things you say and do. Make time for
your friends and reminisce about the good ole days. Don’t make enemies but
rather find common ground with everyone regardless of how much they may piss
you off. Protect and preserve your house at all costs. Always be willing
to sacrifice your well-being to keep the people you care about safe. Be led by your faith and expect the same of those in your household. And at the end
of the day, be the type of man that the generations after you can be proud of.
Here’s to my grandfather and to the remaining few good men
in the world.
-JPay
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